Learning To Let Go
The best advice I ever got about my sex life came from a tantric masseuse in London when I was younger and just beginning my sensual adventures. And the advice was this: just relax. You might be thinking how obvious that seems and yet in reality, for a lot of people, relaxation does not come naturally to them during sexual encounters. So many people are worried about looking good, about performing well, or find it difficult to switch off from their worldly cares and bring their full focus to pleasurable pursuits. All of these things mean that our passion may be stifled or our sensual energies not able to flow freely.
Setting The Stage For Sensual Pleasure
In today’s fast paced culture of quick fixes and not enough time for our most important relationships, we often carry this sense of expectation and urgency into our sexual liaisons too. In modern parlance, we talk of arousal as being ‘turned on’, as if it’s something which can be done for us, and to us, instantaneously- as if it’s as simple as flicking a switch which produces an automatic result. But as most of us can testify, this is not always the case. Whether it’s because we crave more variety in our sex lives; more sensuality; the thrill of novelty by having an adventure with a stranger; or are struggling to keep the passion alive in a long term relationship… whatever the reason, many of us have experienced the reality that we cannot necessarily just snap into a state of genuine impassioned arousal, even if with someone we are attracted to, who is seducing us in a way we may usually enjoy. This is normal however- we are not automatons who can just switch from our other myriad roles in the outside world, straight into our role as a lover.
And this is where the necessity of relaxation comes in. It’s important we have time and space to check in with ourselves and with our partner, to attune ourselves to what it is we enjoy and desire. This quality of mindfulness brings a new dimension to our lovemaking, heightening the pleasure by allowing us to be more aware of our own desires and better able to intuit our partner’s pleasures too.
Whether you choose to do this with dedicated meditation practice, or by taking more time to slowly tease and seduce each other as foreplay, or by pampering your partner with a body rub, or indeed pampering yourself with a massage to unwind from a long day, there are a myriad of sexual benefits to be experienced by exploring some relaxation. Tantric massages are a wonderfully beneficial way to learn mindfulness techniques which are designed to help enhance and sustain physical arousal, and for many tantric clients a massage session can be the beginning of a more spiritual awakening which reveals the many ways meditation improves wellbeing. If this is something you’re interested in, then we strongly recommend exploring tantric massage further with an experienced tantrica, http://www.london-tantric.com/categories/tantric
Relaxation Techniques Learned In London Tantric Massages
My first tantric massage was transformative in the sense it demonstrated the power of relaxation, of stillness. Because I had no one to impress, and was able to be passively guided on a sensual journey by someone who was passionate about and experienced in the tantric arts, I was able to completely forget about everything else and just enjoy the arousing sensations of touch, and the relaxing effect of having my body soothed and pampered. It was truly amazing. It was like my mind and body were able to finally escape the world I was in and enter a place of pure sensuality and pleasure.
Of course I was with a professional tantric masseuse so I thought that I wouldn’t be able to experience anything close to this with anyone else. But what I found was that the tantric massage experiences I was having (yes, that’s experiences in the plural, as of course I wanted to explore tantric massage further in the following months and years) also enhanced other parts of my life- in areas as diverse as my sex life with my partner, the way I dealt with work related stress and worry, and my relationship with my own wellbeing. All of these positive changes flowed from the ability to relax, to be mindful of how I was feeling and what it was I was desiring.
Now I’m not saying that lustful quickies aren’t fun- if all you’ve got is 5 minutes of snatched time to have some hurried pleasure then of course being taken up against the wall is very exciting, But if you find that you are becoming sexually disengaged, or struggling to switch off from the pressures of work or family for long enough to channel your sexual desires, or that a quickie just is not enough to fulfil your needs, then the art of tantric massage has a lot of wisdom to guide us towards a more relaxed state from which we can be open enough to fully connect sexually with another.
If you have any questions about how to further explore the sensual benefits of relaxation techniques found in tantric massage, then feel free to call or email us to find out how a London Tantric massage session could suit your individual desires.
